Saturday, December 30, 2006
:::Tidied My desk:::Did a little of tidying of my desk. But it seems like the same.Just remove some papers, there's still as much things.Mummy say like nvr tidy like tat..lolz.. at least now got alittle space hor...Erm while doing the tidying up, i found a little notebook.The notebook is a book where i wrote all the smses u send me..Might find me silly for writing the smses he sent 2 yrs ago in the notebook.Because its meaningful and tat time i just change my phone that's why gotta write all the smses down for memories..It just felt like yesterday.. The day when he fall in love with me and frequent smsed me.He used to send me smses everynite during sch days, send me smses to meet me to school.Promised to meet me early so as to see me and cherish the 1 hour journey Because we are in different classes so doesnt have a chance to talk.The 1st i love you also there. Used to call me piglet.Its so heartwarming when i read it over and over again.Tears simply flow down.Everything seemed like just yesterday.I missed all these the sweet nothings.. really..everything of it.And of course i missed him..lim jian yong timothy...
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
:::Today's another day:::Its raining again.. making me miss you like crazy...
My leave is ending soon, pray hard time pass by
s.l.o.w.l.y.I dun feel like going back to work. But i also dun wanna stay at home either.
I tend to think alot.
I used to thought i can be strong but in fact i'm not.
after so long le i still unable to do so, unable to get the fact right.
Despite the fact pple console me and encourage me but i just cant..
Perhaps this time i really really fall into the hole. Not able to climb up anymore..
I really wanna give u a big hug like i always do. But u seemed too far for me to hug.I wanna sms u but i'm afraid, but afraid that i'm just being a pest..I wanna say i love u, but i cant anymore.I wanna you to look at me again like u always do but you dun anymore.I wanna lie on your shoulder holding your hands but your hands are always so unreachable.I wanna feel the love and concern you always show, but i cant feel it anymore.I know you are in pain, i'm too..But why are we torturing ourselves?Kinda weird.. haha..Got once pple ask me whether to choose again would i still choose u.My answer is still a Yes..and what about urs?am i very silly? i wondered.....
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
:::TG4 Xmas Gathering 23/12/2006:::Finally can have a proper dinner with my gers. Missed talking and makaning together.
I love u gers. Going out with u all can make my day.
Stop me from thinking for a while but then again its not forever..
We met @ NYDC for there's vegetarian food suitable for ting.
Anyway ting's late for gotta work..
So we decided to self take fotos before she came over
NYDC menu
Finally Ting here
The food we ordered
And the toopid pizza super hot make me drink lots of water
Its us
After that we exchange the pressie @ esplanade
Ade got hers from Me
YY got hers from ade
I got mine from ting
Ting got hers from YY
The receivers give givers kiss... muacks
Its us again
Shall end it here..
Monday, December 25, 2006
:::Merry Christmas:::Merry xmas peepz.. Hope u all who rcv my presents will love it.. haha
Anyway had a good xmas ytd.. haha..Despite the fact of being scolded by mom for being so
'early' reaching home..lolz..
Actually i hate my
xmas this yr.. Kinda different..kinda lonely
Practically miss everything, smses, msn, phonecalls and especially
him..
why cant i just put down like what
he has already done?
Perhaps thats me, always very emotional, hard to put down things. Esp
Love.
Anyway thankiew dear frens for telling me that shld find a new tree for new support becos urs is already withered. But then again i dun really want a new tree for support..
Sometimes i really wondered if time can turn, i choose not to online tat day perhaps we will still be the same? Alright i'm just stating a 'if'.. but things cant be the same anymore..and it doesnt always goes my way isnt it?
Anyway i noe u are happier now isnt it?
Now i truly understand the meaning of when ur love one is happy u will feel happy for him too..
I noe that now he's more happier and more freedom now..
Dun tell me not to miss you when u already know i miss you like crazy..Sorry for being so useless.. a fool that bothered u..
Friday, December 22, 2006
:::Mentally and Physically Tired:::Why mentally tired?Because i realise i'm the only one keep running and chasing towards the destination but no reward. I'm the only one wanna run towards you but you seemed so far away..
No matter how far or fast i run, it still show that i'm being useless..
Why phyiscally tired?Because thou i'm on leave, i still working.. I really left with no choice..
Its not very fun working thou, but at times need extra income..
Perhaps the older i'm the more responsibilities i have..
I've no one to share with, i used to thought that at least i have a shoulder to lean when i'm tired but its no longer a shoulder i can lean on..
I'm tired at times...
Thursday, December 21, 2006
:::New hair:::Went to Jean Yip today and can officially announce broke for this mth. haha
Bonus come Bonus go..
Spend $140+ on my hair..
New color and finally cut away my spilt ends and get some treatment for my precious hair..
Think i'm spoiling myself too much this mth..
Anyway new color dunno how to describe the color but then hairstyle seems the same leh.. just shorter abit..lolz
At least now abit healthier.. better than before..
Am glad..
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
:::On leave till next yr:::Why recently i sleep so late. Aiyo insomnia again ar?
Now is 1:26am already
Finally today my leave starts..
20dec..
20th of every month is a date i used to like but i dun hate it as well..
Anyway had retail therapy with ade and ting today.
Oways feel great going out with them, it do cheers my day up.
That's why u all are my best sisterz.
Today spend alot too..
better curb my spending..
Thanks ah val for the advance xmas present. Heez.
Urs is on the way.. haha..
Thanks for the card and encouragement too..
Shall end a day post with this:
:::The greatest pain that comes from love is when loving someone whom i cant have:::
:::Big Rain reflects my heart:::Today has been raining for the whole day.
Perhaps it reflect how i'm feeling and my
heart.
Why it reflects my
heart? Cause my
heart is
raining too..
Now i finally noe why most of the drama when scene is a sad scene, the main lead will oways walk in the rain.
Cause nobody will noe whether he/she is
crying.
There's once my fren told me she prefer
crying in the rain because nobody will see how sad you are.
Yes, i totally agree and have experience it before.
Perhaps
crying in the rain also will wake u up.
But i doesnt seem to wake up.
Perhaps i'm not suitable for any r/s. Because i just cant face the reality.
i'm just being lousy despite so many of you talk to me and encouragement.
Today is 19th liao.. you shld noe it too....
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
:::Its monday again:::Monday bluez for me. Lucky this week will be on leave since 20/12.
But also shld be working PT ba.. if got lobang..
I hate monday. I hate my life. Overall i hate myself la.
Ohya forgot to upload this 3 pictures i took.
That Joseph went down to my office and drop me a note.
And he drew Bubbles (powerpuff ger), cant believe it he like bubbles.. haha
Sounds weird isnt it. 24 yr old guy like bubbles.. kinda cute..lolz..
This wad he drew and left on my desk
Sunday, December 17, 2006
:::最熟悉的陌生人:::
Feelings are like the title now... 最熟悉的陌生人...
So familar yet so strange.
So close yet so distant.Everything remain the same, the meet up, the train, the seats, the door and the lift but the person, feeling no longer the same..
No more teasing ard when pass by the rubbish chute, no more goodnite kisses, no more huggies and no good nitez
I dunno how to describe..
Anyway thanks for sending me back, appreciated.
Thankiew dennis and sen for acc me buying xmas presents
Gonna be broke again for all the pressies..
start to save up for my CNY clothes, and my hair treatment..lolz
Oh no, cant sleep how? haiz.. now already almost 2am.
i wonder how am i gonna celebrate this yr xmas again.
all alone again.. no mood to see the lightings like what i oways used to hope xmas will come soon so i can enjoy it with the one..
i dunno can i still enjoy?
perhaps 10 yrs later ba...
haaaaa
Saturday, December 16, 2006
:::I miss this scent:::haha i know i did smthing silly today by wanting to buy tat thingy.
Val & Jo cant stand me rite?
But then i oways so silly isn't it?
I will always dote the one i like.
So that's why i will buy that for him. But no stock gotta wait till monday.
its kinda good bargain thou.
Came in contact with that scent again, seem unforgettable.
So familar yet so distant.
I really kinda miss that scent.
I oways love that scent when i in close contact with him.
Really really (x infinite) very missed it.
I think i'm going crazy...
Friday, December 15, 2006
I sound and seem ok and fine but am i really tat ok and fine?somtimes i wondered....
Everyday just keep working and working to keep my mind busy from thinking.. haha
is tat life?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
:::To be loved or love someone:::Still remember that night, Tata ask me this question: do you prefer be loved or love someone?
I used to choose be
loved of course, but i think i'm one who suited to
love someone instead.
Perhaps i just cant accept that when i do not like that person and the person still treat me very good. I will feel gulity, wasting his time.
So i think to
love is best for me ba, because at least when the one is happy i will be happy too.
This is call zi qi qi ren.. haha..
just like when i give little presents to my sisterz i noe they will be happy and i feel happy too.
Its all abt giving isnt it?
Then tata popped me a qn. and i bet all of you peepz sure have heard before.
If you have to choose the 10 roses from 10
red roses and 10 white roses how would i combine them?
i choose 7
red 3 white.
Red = love someone
White = to be love
haha see my combination u noe rite?
p/s: mood is abit better after sending tat email out to him..
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
:::Monday Again:::Today is back to work again.
Just now got one customer put me on hold and give me listen to music.
The song goes like this:
Nothing's gonna change my love for you You ought know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of I'll never ask for more than your love...Suddenly this song hits me again.. haha
but of cos i dint cry again..
Perhaps this song actually say out what i'm feeling
but i noe you are not feeling this same way towards our r/s ..
Conclusion i get: Our love is still not as strong...not strong enuff to overcome this obstacle..
Monday, December 11, 2006
:::Many thankiew:::Today is star award.
I also got an award.
Breakup and good frens are there.
When have frens ard when i'm in trouble its like sending coal to me in winter. (Xue zhong song tan)
Lucky i have my sistaz:
Tata,
Sen,
Ting,
Jun and
Ser still there for me.
Sms, msn and talk to me..
Everyone say the same thing: You will get over it soon, find a better one to cherish u.
Yes i know, but i dunno can i still find another one mah.
Once bitten twice shy..
i noe i will still continue loving him till the day he find another one.
Today was really low when he told me that the answer will still be the same which means no room for further discussion.
perhaps i'm just some passerby that happen to be by his side.
Still remember one of his previous sms - he love me with all his heart, no matter wad problem we encountered we must solve it, must not run away by breaking up.
Well it seemed like this sms is meaningless le ba..
Well, perhaps cant blame him ba.. i also in the wrong..
what to do? i dunno
i sounded ok but am i?
i wondered.....
:::Quote of the day from Jun:::When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
===============================================
i like this one best:
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
:::Dun understand at all:::We today had a talk, or rather he talk i listen cause i really dunno what to do..
wanna ask him how he can say break up so easily but dint dare..
den we just hugged and cried..
I really dun understand a bit at all.
Thou he might be right that he has to marry a christian and he will be going overseas and maybe by then i will find a better one or rather he will find a better one.
How could he say that when he haven even try it yet.
Who knows we might get over the obstacle?
By saying that he might find another ger or vice versa,
Does it mean that he already planned to find someone else already?
Why does he have so little faith in our r/s? why doesnt he believe i willing to wait?
fine...
How could he say tat so easily: I think break up is better..
Thou i wanna get back tgt but after hearing tat, what can i say..
Perhaps i'm not as important afterall.. just someone whom he can go out with and after a while he's bored already den say break? i really dunno...
Anyway i noe he can easily find someone else perhaps tat's why he doesnt show out that he's being sad abt it ba.
Anyway thanks jun for the shoulder letting me cry and cling on for 1½ hr or so...
thanks for the little tomato.. heez..
muacks love u and ting..
love tata and sen too.. for kai dao me so late till 1plus..haha
Saturday, December 09, 2006
:::Meaningful isnt it:::
Truly indeed this is true..
每个女孩都是天使，当她落下第一滴眼泪时，上帝就收回她的翅膀，所以，世间的男孩都应该知道，当你面前的女孩，为你落下第一滴泪时，她已经为你放弃整个天堂。
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
:::Counting down:::Current time report
17:38, counting down to
18:00 for my work to be finish.
Today time kinda fast for me.. perhaps been too concentrating in picking calls and not thinking abt other things ba..
haha...
Anyway i'm fine, thanks for frens my sister and brother sms me in the morning..
me now absolutely fine
thankiew.. Thanks for being so concern abt me..
really very touched. Heez..
love u all..
Oh well, me not going to think abt it anymore, not going to talk abt it anymore..
perhaps need to face to face talk.. do i?
wadever..
2 words:
DUN CARE
::: Insomnia:::Last nite insomnia, cant sleep after i rcv his smses.
How can he say lets be frens so easily?
Heartless creature...
Nvr cried so badly before..
i tot i'm strong and i swear i wont cry for a guy..
but then i cant do it.. haiz..
He just simply make the decision for me.
Dun wan me wait for him when he go overseas.
All are excuses..
Fine then i shan't bothered.
I will try not to shed tears anymore...
Monday, December 04, 2006
:::3 DEC 2006:::This date i will definitely remember.
The date that we are not together.
We both cried but still we decided.
2 yrs plus relationship..
Frens are better after all.
At least frens are forever don't they?
Frens stood by you.
I wondered have we really ended it already?
can we end it so fast? so simple? so easy??
i hate to say let's be frens.
I thought i can let it go easily but i realise i'm such an idiot. I cant
i still love you. Miss you.
Its hard to let go.... but perhaps its the best choice isnt it?
i will always give him my blessings and hope he finds a better gf than me..
This song is just describing my feelings, not to cry..
同恩 - 不准哭我把自己反锁在空荡荡的房屋
感谢你让我想个清楚
因为爱你所以我不做你的包袱
我不需要谁温柔安抚
请放心我很快能恢复找到一个人陪我漫步
不准哭我不要装可怜无辜
挡住你的路挡不住你追逐
不准哭我更应该微笑祝福
祝你找到对的幸福
如果我消失不见
你在乎不在乎
别含含糊糊我很在乎
因为爱你所以我选另外一条路
离开是我的最后让步
爱情就到这里结束
我们不得不不得不屈服
只能笑
不准哭我不要装可怜无辜
挡住你的路挡不住你追逐
不准哭我学不会微笑祝福
祝你找到
祝你找到对的幸福
:::Meaninful to me and you:::I think of you often
and make no outward show,
But what it means to lose you,
no one will ever know
You wished no one farewell,
not even said good-bye
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.
You are not forgotten
nor will you ever be,
As long as life and memories last,
I will remember thee.
To some you may be forgotten,
to others a part of the past,
But to me who loved you dearly,
your memories will always last.
Nothing can be more beautiful
than the memories I have of you.
To me, you were someone special,
God must have thought so too!
If tears could build a staircase
and memories a lane,
I would walk all the way to Heaven,
and bring you back again.
Stahlseele let me read this, of course not written by him.Perhaps shldnt call him stahlseele anymore.Should address timothy from now on.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
:::The right thing?:::I wonder have i've done the right thing by expressing so obvious to her.. haha
This reminds me of last time in pri sch...
Last time in pri sch we also required to do projects and we have to pair up.
All my frens area paired up except me.
So no choice i gotta pair up with a not-so-close friend.
But in the end i ended up doing the whole project thru out the whole vacation.
She dint even bothered to do it with me.
I complained to my frens and they complained for me to the teacher.
In the end the partner of mine was reprimanded by teacher.
And all the frens all starting to dislike her and she's all alone.
Feel kinda bad for complaining to the teacher at that time.
Seeing her everyday recess was all by herself and nobody talks to her.
Kinda sad isnt it?
Anyway its all the past, we have become the best frens when we promoted to pri 5 and 6.
Getting to know her better and she's a nice lady afterall.
We do still keep in contact when we moved on to different sec sch by writing letters updating each other life.
Who we like in sec sch, what the grades we scored.. etc..
and now we still sms each other.
She's has been a great pal to me.
Her name is
Sandy Lin Xian Di.Haven been able to meet up with yet since our last meet up in SP FC6.
Anyway hope can meet her up soon.
Really miss her.
